Meaningful New Year's Resolutions for Grandparents Who Really Care
It's time to change how we think about resolutions. They can still deal with finances, but maybe they should focus on our most important asset, our grandchildren and the type of legacy we want to leave them.
Happy New Year! The ball is about to drop, and the revelry is just beginning; there’s no better time to reflect upon last year and consider some changes for 2019.
Are you dreading the phrase, “New Year’s Resolutions?” I am, because the first one always involves dieting. Time to hit the salad bar. If you are like most people, after we resolve to lose weight, our next most popular resolution usually centers around our money habits. You know the drill … shed the debt, save more and spend less. However, as February creeps in, so do the burgers and fries, not to mention, the credit cards. Many of us have a tough time sticking to the promises we make to ourselves.
Who Thought of New Year’s Resolutions, Anyway?
According to History.com, “The practice of making resolutions for the new year is thought to have first caught on among the ancient Babylonians, who made promises in order to earn the favor of the gods and start the year off on the right foot. (They would reportedly vow to pay off debts and return borrowed farm equipment.)”
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
I’m not sure if they were more successful in paying off debt than we are today (and I’m also not sure about how much farm equipment was returned). It’s nice to know that “shedding pounds” is a modern problem and the words “salad bar” were not in their lexicon.
NEW New Year’s Resolutions
How about if we change the dialog and set up resolutions that still can deal with money, but focus on our most important asset: our grandchildren? Maybe it’s time to focus on the real legacy we want to leave. Maybe it’s time to design that legacy and resolve to share that with our next generation of loved ones while we are alive.
What Is Your Legacy?
Is your legacy the money you will leave or the memories you will leave? You know that this is a rhetorical question, but sometimes we get caught up in the money because it is tangible. It is not to say that this divvying of the material should not be dealt with. By the way, if this is not dealt with while you are alive, it will be after your death; and perhaps with the consequences that you most dread. More families are pulled apart because of money issues. Don’t set your kids and grandkids up to hear about your wishes when they are sitting in front of an unknown financial expert after your death.
The Money: All Children and Grandchildren Are Not Created Equal
Because all kids are not created equal, in death, you don’t have to treat them as such. You may have special needs grandchildren who may require lifetime care. These issues have to be dealt with. Trusts may have to be established to provide for those situations. The biggest issue is to explain your intentions to all who are involved. (I feel a New Year’s Resolution developing.)
You also may have kids or grandkids that may have a profession that does not pay as lucratively as others in the family. Therefore, you may decide to leave your concert violinist grandchild more money than your investment banker grandchild. Again, the issue is to explain this to your loved ones before your death. (Do you feel another New Year’s Resolution coming on?)
Memories
Memories are intangible, but very real, nonetheless to the loved ones holding onto them. I remember my grandma Jewel lugging her homemade chicken soup and matzo balls to our house every week because she knew how excited I was to come home from school to find her there with a piping hot bowl of love. We would sit for hours and talk. In fact, I spoke to her every day of my life until her death at almost 100 years. Yes, another memory was her teaching me how to make her matzo balls and her never commenting to me that hockey pucks tasted better. Of course, money was left, but it was never about the money.
You are alive. The biggest resolution you can make now is to get on that memory train and create new meaning in your relationships with your grandchildren. These don’t have to be huge. They only need to involve time and love. Keep “stuff” out of it. Your grandchildren may think that a new iPad is the legacy they want, but trust me, when you pass, that will not be what they remembered you for.
Famed banker David Rockefeller told me something really interesting once. I used to work with him when I was at Chase Bank. He was reminiscing about how his family was really close and how they did lots of things together. He talked about the fact that the meaning for him was never about the family’s wealth. He quipped, “You will never see a hearse with a luggage rack.”
Be the Change
Make sure that your New Year’s Resolutions are your goals, not someone else’s hopes for you and your loved ones. Don’t just pop the bubbly and say you are going to change because the new year is here and you are wearing those goofy 2019 sparkle sunglasses.
Change is about you and your life. Remember, your resolutions begin with you and the life you want and the legacy you leave.
Happy New Year.
Get Kiplinger Today newsletter — free
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.
Neale Godfrey is a New York Times #1 best-selling author of 27 books, which empower families (and their kids and grandkids) to take charge of their financial lives. Godfrey started her journey with The Chase Manhattan Bank, joining as one of the first female executives, and later became president of The First Women's Bank and founder of The First Children's Bank. Neale pioneered the topic of "kids and money," which took off after her 13 appearances on "The Oprah Winfrey Show." www.nealegodfrey.com
-
Stock Market Today: Stocks Rally Despite Rising Geopolitical Tension
The main indexes were mixed on Tuesday but closed well off their lows after an early flight to safety.
By David Dittman Published
-
What's at Stake for Alphabet as DOJ Eyes Google's Chrome
Alphabet is higher Tuesday even as antitrust officials at the DOJ support forcing Google to sell its popular web browser. Here's what you need to know.
By Joey Solitro Published
-
Six Ways to Optimize Your Charitable Giving Before Year-End
As 2024 winds down, right now is the time to look at how you plan to handle your charitable giving. The sooner you start, the more tax-efficient you can be.
By Julia Chu Published
-
How Preferred Stocks Can Boost Your Retirement Portfolio
Higher yields, priority on dividend payments and the potential for capital appreciation are just three reasons to consider investing in preferred stocks.
By Michael Joseph, CFA Published
-
Structured Settlement Annuity vs Lump-Sum Payout: Which Is Better?
As the use of structured settlement annuities grows, it can be tough to decide whether to take the lump sum to invest or opt instead for guaranteed payments.
By H. Dennis Beaver, Esq. Published
-
What to Do as Soon as Your Divorce Is Final
Don't delay — getting these tasks accomplished as soon as possible can help you avoid costly consequences.
By Andrew Hatherley, CDFA®, CRPC® Published
-
Many Older Adults Lack Financial Security: What Can We Do?
Poor financial literacy and a lack of foresight have led to this troubling reality. It's going to take tax policy changes, education and more to address it.
By Ryan Munson Published
-
Winning Investment Strategy: Be the Tortoise AND the Hare
Consider treating investing like it's both a marathon and a sprint by taking advantage of the powers of time (the tortoise) and compounding (the hare).
By Andrew Rosen, CFP®, CEP Published
-
How to Fight Inflation's Hidden Threat to Your Savings
If higher prices are putting your savings goals on hold, you're in danger of financial erosion. Fortunately, several strategies can help stop the spread.
By Kevin Brauer, MBA, CPA, CMA Published
-
10 Inefficiencies I Look for on Rich Retirees' Tax Returns
Your tax return could hold clues to several missed opportunities and important gaps in your retirement planning.
By Evan T. Beach, CFP®, AWMA® Published