Q. My husband and I have been invited to a wedding, and the couple’s gift registry has no merchandise — just lots of ideas of what they would do with cash gifts from their wedding guests. Call us old-fashioned, but we’re put off by this request for money. Any suggestions?
A. This is more a matter of etiquette than ethics. There is nothing unethical about the bridal couple making such a request (although it may be a little crass), and there is no moral dimension to your response. You have no obligation to give them anything if you’re not going to the wedding, and if you do go, you are free to send any kind of gift you wish.
A wedding gift is traditionally a way to congratulate the couple and help them get established in their new household. Alternatives to conventional gift registries (online or in a local store) are flourishing, and my favorites encourage donations to charities that the engaged couple supports, instead of (or in addition to) a gift to them. This works especially well for older couples who already have one or more households and probably don’t need more kitchen equipment.
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
As for cash gifts: If you were okay with spending a certain amount on a gift, why not send the couple the same amount in cash? Do you think this feels too impersonal because they’ll never think kindly of you each time they use the coffeemaker you sent? Or do you not want them to be tempted to blow their wedding cash on a trip to Vegas? I share your concerns on both fronts.
My wife and I recently received a wedding invitation from a young couple who were moving across the country, wanted to travel light and had no idea what they’d need in their new home, so they said they’d love to have cash instead. But we decided that, whenever they settle down somewhere, they’ll need useful things from a hardware or housewares store. So we gave them a gift certificate instead of cash.
This response was originally written by Kiplinger in 2014.
Related Content
-
Can Trump Fire Powell? A Supreme Court Case Could DecidePresidential posts threaten to overwhelm decades of precedent and tradition, whatever the nine justices decide.
-
Do You Need an AI Agent in Your Life?AI agents promise to be the next big thing in artificial intelligence, but what exactly do they do?
-
What Are AI Agents and What Can They Do for You?
AI agents promise to be the next big thing in artificial intelligence, but what exactly do they do?
-
Should You Buy an iPhone Now Before Tariffs Hit?Looming tariffs can make an iPhone purchase seem urgent. Here's what to do if you need another phone but want to save money.
-
Here's When a Lack of Credit Card Debt Can Cause You ProblemsUsually, getting a new credit card can be difficult if you have too much card debt, but this bank customer ran into an issue because he had no debt at all.
-
Reminder: The Basics of Using HSA FundsHealth savings accounts (HSAs)can help you cover out-of-pocket medical costs. Just make sure you understand the rules and keep records of qualifying expenses.
-
A Checklist for High-Net-Worth Individuals: How to Protect and Grow Your WealthA strategic guide to managing, preserving, and expanding your wealth for long-term financial security.
-
Earn a 50% Discount to The Cultivist With Capital One Venture XTour some of the world's top art museums for less when you use your Capital One Venture X card to score a 50% discount to The Cultivist.
-
Going to College? How to Navigate the Financial PlanningCollege decisions this year seem even more complex than usual, including determining whether a school is a 'financial fit.' Here's how to find your way.
-
My First $1 Million: Literacy Interventionist, 59, ColoradoEver wonder how someone who's made a million dollars or more did it? Kiplinger's new My First $1 Million series uncovers the answers.
