Q. My husband and I have been invited to a wedding, and the couple’s gift registry has no merchandise — just lots of ideas of what they would do with cash gifts from their wedding guests. Call us old-fashioned, but we’re put off by this request for money. Any suggestions?
A. This is more a matter of etiquette than ethics. There is nothing unethical about the bridal couple making such a request (although it may be a little crass), and there is no moral dimension to your response. You have no obligation to give them anything if you’re not going to the wedding, and if you do go, you are free to send any kind of gift you wish.
A wedding gift is traditionally a way to congratulate the couple and help them get established in their new household. Alternatives to conventional gift registries (online or in a local store) are flourishing, and my favorites encourage donations to charities that the engaged couple supports, instead of (or in addition to) a gift to them. This works especially well for older couples who already have one or more households and probably don’t need more kitchen equipment.
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
As for cash gifts: If you were okay with spending a certain amount on a gift, why not send the couple the same amount in cash? Do you think this feels too impersonal because they’ll never think kindly of you each time they use the coffeemaker you sent? Or do you not want them to be tempted to blow their wedding cash on a trip to Vegas? I share your concerns on both fronts.
My wife and I recently received a wedding invitation from a young couple who were moving across the country, wanted to travel light and had no idea what they’d need in their new home, so they said they’d love to have cash instead. But we decided that, whenever they settle down somewhere, they’ll need useful things from a hardware or housewares store. So we gave them a gift certificate instead of cash.
This response was originally written by Kiplinger in 2014.
Related Content
-
10 Best High-Yield Savings Accounts to Grow Your Tax RefundIf you're getting a tax refund this year and want to grow it, here are the best high-yield savings accounts to make it happen.
-
TurboTax: Features, Pricing and Filing OptionsIs TurboTax worth it in 2025? Explore the pros, cons, pricing tiers and standout features of this popular tax software to see if it fits your filing needs.
-
10 Best High-Yield Savings Accounts to Grow Your Tax RefundIf you're getting a tax refund this year and want to grow it, here are the best high-yield savings accounts to make it happen.
-
Klarna Buy Now, Pay Later Is Coming to a Walmart Checkout Screen Near YouHow buy now, pay later options at Walmart could get easier after the retailer traded Affirm for Klarna.
-
United Club Lounge Access Just Got More ExpensiveUnited Airlines announced a new tiered membership scheme for United Club, which gets you into airport lounges.
-
Road Toll Scam Texts are Still Going Around. Here's What to Look Out ForScammers have been sending fake texts about E-ZPass for over a year. Know what to look out for and what to do.
-
ABLE Account: A Savings Tool to Empower People With DisabilitiesAn ABLE account can improve quality of life for individuals with a disability — it permits tax-free saving for ongoing expenses without jeopardizing benefits.
-
3 Trending Luxury Travel Destinations for 2025Explore the top luxury travel destinations for 2025. Including Antarctica cruises, private yacht charters in the Seychelles and five-star wellness retreats in Kyoto, Japan.
-
20 Ways to Clean Up Your Finances This SpringSpring cleaning is therapeutic and stops costly problems from building up around the home. Why not tackle the dusty corners of your finances at the same time?
-
Are You a High Earner But Still Broke? Five Fixes for ThatIf you're a HENRY (a higher earner, not rich yet) but feel like you still live paycheck to paycheck, there are steps you can take to get control of your financial future.
