Easing the Challenges of Caring for Aging Parents

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In both my professional practice and personal conversations with friends, the challenges of caring for aging parents have become a frequent topic.

Balancing their needs with our own work, family and personal well-being can be a struggle. The time commitment required to address their financial, physical, social and emotional needs can be substantial.

Here are some strategies that can help reduce the effort and stress involved:

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Proactive planning and collaboration

Organize a family meeting. Have an honest and open conversation with your parents and other family members. Review your parents’ current and future needs. Discuss everyone’s concerns and expectations.

Create a plan for how everyone can contribute most effectively. Establish group communication channels (like text, phone chain and email) to improve family involvement.

Understand your parents’ situation. Sitting down with your parents and reviewing their income, expenses and resources will provide crucial insights for future planning and decision-making.

Determine where your parents will live. Talk with your parents about their current and future living needs and preferences. Consider factors like safety, the need for current or future physical care and associated costs.

Having a budget and a well-thought-out plan can reduce everyone’s stress when it’s time to move.

Consult with parents’ advisers. Get advice from your parents’ trusted advisors, such as their financial advisor, estate planning attorney and certified public accountant (CPA).

Their expertise can provide valuable insights into navigating your parents' future living situation and economic landscape.

Healthcare and support systems

Review your parents’ health plan. Talk with your parents' doctors and explore the resources available through your parents’ health insurance. Many plans include access to social workers who can connect you with valuable support services, such as in-home care options.

Establish health care directives. Ensure your parents have clearly documented their health care wishes through a health care directive or living will. This will provide clarity and guidance when critical medical decisions must be made.

Collaborative care and personal well-being

Join forces with your siblings. Leverage the help and support of your siblings to create a shared plan where each sibling contributes in ways that align with their strengths and schedule.

Seek support outside of the family. Helping your parents can take a toll. Look for support groups or friends facing similar situations who can share experiences and coping strategies, helping to alleviate stress.

Lean into the support of your immediate family. Prioritize quality time with your spouse and kids. These moments of connection and relaxation can provide essential respite and emotional well-being during challenging times.

Maintain a positive attitude. Though there will be times when your patience is tested or you are not sure how you will get everything done, concentrate on the positive. Cherish the little moments, like watching a favorite old movie together, sitting in the sun or going for a walk.

Most of us will eventually find ourselves in the role of supporting our parents. By taking proactive steps and leveraging available resources, we can navigate this journey with less stress and create lasting, special memories.

Making the time to be part of your parents' lives when it counts the most can make all the effort you have put in worth it.

Disclaimer

The information provided here is not investment, tax or financial advice. You should consult with a licensed professional for advice concerning your specific situation.

Mario R. Hernandez, Principal at Longevity Wealth Management, has been a Certified Financial Planner (CFP®) since 1994 and brings a vast amount of experience in the financial planning and investment management business. Mario previously headed up the wealth management division at Gemmer Asset Management LLC and provided clients with holistic planning and helped prepare them for retirement.