3 More Money Lessons I Learned by Age 40
A financial planner who has seen a lot and reflected on what brings his clients happiness and fulfillment shares some secrets to success.


Editor’s note: This is part two of two parts. Part one, published in October, includes Lessons 1-2.
Welcome back to my five lessons that I learned about money and life by the time I turned 40. Check out part one if you missed it last month. Here are lessons three through five.
Lesson #3 - You Have the Power to Give Meaning to Money
For thousands of years, society has placed a cultural significance on money. To the external world, money conveys status, fame, power, intelligence, success, and other things to people who have it. If you aren’t careful, society and the external world around you will define the meaning that money has in your life.

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
But here’s a little secret. There’s a second and less discussed meaning of money, which is very personal and entirely internal. It’s part psychology (how you think and feel about it), part utility (how you use it), and part subjectivity (personal choice). When money and how you use it is aligned with your values, the person you want to be, and the life you want to live, it gains real meaning in your life.
For the happiest, most fulfilled people I know, money isn’t about fame, power, or status.
Money is freedom.
It’s freedom from financial worry and stress. It’s the freedom to choose how, where, and with whom you spend your time. It’s the freedom to define the person you want to be and the life you want to live. Money, and more important, your plan for it, is the freedom to confidently control and shape your future.
The right plan for your money is all about giving you the freedom to live life on your own terms. Of course, money isn’t everything, but if used well, it can give you the freedom to do almost anything.
But — and it’s a very big but — that freedom isn’t free.
Lesson #4 - You Set the Price of Your Financial Freedom
I define financial freedom as having enough passive income and the wealth to generate that passive income to cover the lifestyle expenses for the life I want to live. It’s when work (trading time for money) becomes optional. And that freedom has a price.
Think about it this way. If you need $40,000 per year of income to maintain your lifestyle, you need roughly $1 million to achieve financial freedom. At $80,000 of income, you need $2 million, and at $120,000 you need $3 million. Your number is the price you are placing on your financial freedom. As your lifestyle expenses increase, so does the price.
Most people struggle to achieve financial freedom because they can’t keep the price from rising. So they continue to increase their lifestyle expenses, adding to how much wealth will be required to create the passive income they need to cover their expenses. George Foreman summed it up nicely: “It’s not at what age you want to retire. It’s at what income.”
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t buy a nice house, car, or lake house. It simply means you should be aware of the impact these decisions will have on your freedom, how you spend your time, and the quality of your life. You set the price of your financial freedom, and every decision you make is either making your freedom more or less affordable.
Lesson #5 - Miracles and Money Have a Lot in Common
At some point in my relationship with my clients, I ask them one question: “What is a miracle?” The most common answer is that a miracle is something we can’t explain or didn’t think was possible. I prefer to use Charles Eisenstein’s definition: “A miracle is something that is impossible from one’s current understanding of reality and truth, but that becomes possible from a new understanding.”
Many of us, myself included, enter our adult lives with limiting beliefs or a limiting mindset that stems from lessons we learned as children. In fact, the subconscious thought patterns that govern our financial decisions are formed by age seven. These subconscious beliefs, values, and attitudes determine our individual money stories — what we believe to be true and what is possible with it. In essence, your story determines what you think is a miracle (and impossible for you to influence) and what you think is possible (and within your sphere of influence).
If we are open to exploring our money stories and taking action to change them, we can create a new narrative around what is possible. And I can honestly say that once you figure this part out, you will unlock the unlimited potential of money to be a powerful tool to help you define, shape, and express the person you want to become and the life you want to live.
Your decisions are the only way you can influence your life, and the quality of those (financial) decisions will determine the quality of your life. As Ralph Waldo Emerson so eloquently put it, “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”
Your next decision can change your life. What will it be?
- Brent Weiss, CFP, CHFC, Co-Founder, Facet Wealth
Facet Wealth, Inc. is an SEC registered investment adviser headquartered in Baltimore, Maryland. This is not an offer to sell securities or the solicitation of an offer to purchase securities. This is not investment, financial, legal or tax advice. Past performance is not a guarantee of future performance.
Get Kiplinger Today newsletter — free
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

Brent Weiss is co-founder and Head of Financial Wellness at Facet. His belief that financial wellness is essential to living well and that all people deserve access to the kind of financial advice that can lead to an enriched life has been the driving force behind the firm's mission and vision. He is dedicated to enabling greater access to innovative, next-generation planning solutions and technology that can improve the quality of life for all people.
-
6 Stunning Waterfront Homes for Sale Around the US
From private peninsulas to lakes, bayous and beyond, Kiplinger's "Listed" series brings you another selection of dream homes for sale on the waterfront.
By Charlotte Gorbold Published
-
Six Reasons to Disinherit Someone and How to Do It
Whether you're navigating a second marriage, dealing with an estranged relative or leaving your assets to charity, there are reasons to disinherit someone. Here's how.
By Donna LeValley Published
-
Should You Still Wait Until 70 to Claim Social Security?
Delaying Social Security until age 70 will increase your benefits. But with shortages ahead, and talk of cuts, is there a case for claiming sooner?
By Evan T. Beach, CFP®, AWMA® Published
-
Retirement Planning for Couples: How to Plan to Be So Happy Together
Planning for retirement as a couple is a team sport that takes open communication, thoughtful planning and a solid financial strategy.
By Andrew Rosen, CFP®, CEP Published
-
Market Turmoil: What History Tells Us About Current Volatility
This up-and-down uncertainty is nerve-racking, but a look back at previous downturns shows that the markets are resilient. Here's how to ride out the turmoil.
By Michael Aloi, CFP® Published
-
Home Insurance: How to Cut Costs Without Losing Coverage
Natural disasters are causing home insurance premiums to soar, but don't risk dropping your coverage completely when there are ways to keep costs down.
By Jared Elson, Investment Adviser Published
-
Markets Roller Coaster: Resist the Urge to Make Big Changes
You could do more harm than good if you react emotionally to volatility. Instead, consider tax-loss harvesting, Roth conversions and how to plan for next time.
By Frank J. Legan Published
-
Why Homeowners Insurance Has Gotten So Very Expensive
The home insurance industry is seeing more frequent and bigger claims because of weather, wildfires and other natural disasters.
By Karl Susman, CPCU, LUTCF, CIC, CSFP, CFS, CPIA, AAI-M, PLCS Published
-
Going Through Probate? How to Find the Right Attorney
Just having the skills and experience to do the job isn't enough. The probate attorney you hire needs to have the right temperament for your particular case.
By John R. Silva, Esq. Published
-
Widow's Penalty: Three Ways to Protect Your Finances
Higher Medicare premiums, smaller Social Security payments, bigger tax bills … Financial changes can hit hard when a spouse dies. How to counter the blow.
By Ashley Terrell, IAR Published