Children Can't Afford to Fly the Nest? Here's How to Help
The high cost of living means more adult children are staying in the family nest. Here are four ways to help financially so they can eventually spread their wings.


The cost of living is rising every year, making it increasingly common for adult children to live with their parents.
One in three U.S. adults aged 18 to 34 currently resides with at least one parent. While some live with their parents by choice, this trend reflects larger economic and social changes.
Living with parents is one way adult children seek support while working toward financial stability, though the type of assistance they need can vary depending on their age or stage of life.

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
In almost 20 years of working in financial services, I’ve encountered a wide range of scenarios. However, there are four best practices I plan to implement with my own children one day.
Set a timeline for 'rent-free' stays
One of the hardest yet most valuable lessons I learned came when my dad “kicked me out.” We had always agreed that I would live at home rent-free for one year after graduation to save money and build a financial reserve.
After that, I was expected to move into my own place. When the one-year mark arrived, I had just accepted my job at Halbert Hargrove, but I hadn’t started yet. It was time for the hard conversation: my dad and I discussed the importance of sticking to our agreement.
I was very upset at the time and loved being at home, but looking back, I see that my dad was right. It was time for me to spread my wings, learn independence and take on the responsibilities that come with living on your own.
In the end, it was exactly what I needed. I moved in with my best friend and figured out how to live independently. Learning to live within a budget, paying bills and making sacrifices was challenging but essential for my long-term success and independence.
So, the lesson is that a “free stay” shouldn’t be indefinite. It’s easy to get comfortable, but in the long run, as tough as it may be, we need to let our children go do their own thing.
There are economic exceptions, such as more than half of Gen Z adults saying they don’t make enough money to live the life they want due to the high cost of living.
This statistic underscores the harsh realities many young people are facing, particularly as housing, healthcare and education costs continue to rise.
Set clear boundaries and requirements
If you decide to support your adult children, I highly recommend setting clear boundaries and requirements.
For example, if they are asking for financial help to return to school, consider requiring them to work on campus or get a job to supplement your support.
Additionally, you might set expectations, such as maintaining a minimum number of classes or a certain GPA.
A study by Savings.com said 61% of adults living at their parents’ homes don’t pay rent or contribute to any household expenses.
If they ask to move back into your home, set the guidelines that they will pay for certain utilities, be responsible for certain chores, or even pay rent or contribute to the mortgage.
It’s important for them to actively participate in the household and not get too comfortable.
If they have accumulated credit card debt, create a plan for them to pay down a certain percentage each month. To aid in building healthy financial habits, you could also help them develop a budget.
There are many scenarios that could arise, but I believe each person should have skin in the game. Parents should feel that their support results in tangible outcomes, while adult children should take responsibility and actively work toward their goals.
Ultimately, it’s important that both the parents and children benefit from this arrangement.
Reward saving activities
PBS research shows that teaching children about money equips them with a financial education that has been linked to lower debt levels, higher savings and higher credit scores into adulthood.
Inspired by this, I learned from a family friend the practice of matching the money my children save, which has proven to be very helpful. If they choose not to spend the money they earn and instead decide to put it into their savings account, we match whatever they save.
For context, they run a small recycling business where they collect recyclables from our household and our neighbors. Once a month, we take them to turn in the recyclables for cash, and they usually earn between $40 and $60.
If they choose to put that money in their savings, then we match that number, which helps them develop good financial habits early on.
The same concept can be applied to 401(k) contributions for your children who are just starting their careers, as early investing is crucial for long-term success.
Similarly, if they are saving for a home, you could encourage their efforts by charging them rent, but instead of spending it, you can save and invest it as a future contribution to their own home.
Provide a loan
Another tactic is providing adult children with personal loans for significant investments like furthering their education, purchasing their first home or starting a business.
However, this strategy may not be suitable for everyone. Loans tend to be more successful if the child has already demonstrated trustworthiness and strong saving techniques, and has proven to be reliable in their financial acumen.
Supporting your adult children is not a requirement, and sometimes, it’s not necessary. However, if they do come to you for help, it’s important to know your stance in advance and set clear boundaries on how much you are willing to help.
If you have a partner or significant other, whether they are your joint child or not, being on the same page and maintaining transparency is crucial. If you’re in a position to help, that’s great, but if it doesn’t align with your personal budget or longer-term savings goals, that’s completely OK, too.
Related Content
Get Kiplinger Today newsletter — free
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

Kelli Kiemle holds multiple roles with Halbert Hargrove. As Managing Director of Growth and Client Experience, she sets the tone for the quality and character of Halbert Hargrove's client service relationships. She also manages the associate wealth advisers and client service managers. Kelli is also responsible for overseeing the firm's wide-ranging marketing and communications initiatives, including their mentor program.
-
Six Ways to Pay Off High-Interest Debt (and Still Save for the Future)
Get out of debt and reach your goals sooner by starting with a well-thought-out plan.
By Kiplinger Advisor Collective
-
Vaccines Medicare Covers for Free
The U.S. is experiencing an outbreak of measles and is on track to have the most whooping cough cases since 1948; these vaccines Medicare covers for free can keep you safe.
By Donna LeValley
-
Why You Need a Trusted Contact for Your Brokerage
Your brokerage or bank needs someone to reach out to if it's concerned you're experiencing fraud or cognitive decline. That's where a trusted contact can help.
By John Waggoner
-
Four Takeaways From Filing Your Taxes to Boost Your Financial Future
Now that another tax season is in the rearview mirror for most of us, what lessons can you take from what you learned about your finances to plan for the future?
By Kate Winget
-
What Claims Adjusters Are Thinking vs What They're Saying
After a natural disaster, few of us are at our best, but here's what to keep in mind when you're interacting with your insurance company's claims adjuster.
By Karl Susman, CPCU, LUTCF, CIC, CSFP, CFS, CPIA, AAI-M, PLCS
-
Looking to Make a Job Change? How to Stand Out Like a Pro
To make a strong first impression in interviews or when networking, skip your job title and work history and use an opening gambit that highlights your talents.
By Anne deBruin Sample, CEO
-
Stock Market Today: No 'Powell Put'? No Problem
Investors, traders and speculators look beyond both another Trump post and more signs of slowing economic activity.
By David Dittman
-
How to Store Your Financial Documents the Right Way
Having mountains of financial paperwork take over your home can be frustrating. Here's how to get the mess under control while still having your essential information at your fingertips.
By Laura Gariepy
-
Don’t Get Burned: Six Summer Disasters Your Home Insurance Might Not Cover
Home insurance doesn’t cover everything. Learn which disasters require extra coverage — and how to protect your home before it’s too late.
By Jacob Wolinsky
-
First 100 Days: Trump's Impact on Your Finances
Here are some opportunities to consider regarding investing, interest rates and tax cuts as the financial landscape shifts under the new administration.
By Daniel Razvi, Esquire