Estate Planning for Your Aging Parents: A Delicate Balance
Protecting assets isn’t the only goal. Managing health care and taxes are also important, as is maintaining our parents’ dignity and security.


As our parents age, one of the most important aspects of ensuring their well-being and peace of mind is estate planning. Estate planning is more than just deciding who to leave your assets to once you die. It’s a comprehensive process that encompasses health care decisions, financial management and maintaining a delicate balance between independence and security.
Estate planning involves making arrangements for the management and distribution of an individual's estate during their lifetime and after death. For aging parents, it's particularly important, as it allows them to maintain control over their affairs while also providing clarity and guidance to loved ones in case of incapacity or death.
Protecting assets is probably what most of us think about when beginning the estate planning process. Estate planning for aging parents, or anyone for that matter, involves making sure that a person's assets, that they have accumulated over a lifetime, are protected. This includes real estate, investments, retirement accounts and personal belongings. Through tools like wills and trusts, parents can let their loved ones know exactly how they want their assets to be managed and distributed.

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
The next equally important, if not more important, aspect of estate planning has to do with incapacity planning. As parents age, their health care needs may become more complex. Advanced directives and health care proxies enable them to designate trusted individuals to make medical decisions on their behalf if they become unable to do so themselves. This ensures that their preferences regarding medical treatments and end-of-life care are respected.
Tax planning strategies for heirs
Estate planning is typically rounded out with tax planning. With the 2024 federal estate tax exemption at $13.61 million for individuals and $27.22 million for married couples, most people are not concerned about an estate tax. However, many states have their own estate tax, or “death tax,” so it’s important to be aware of what those are in your state. Regardless, estate tax laws change periodically, and proper estate planning can minimize the tax burden on heirs. Parents can employ strategies like gifting, establishing trusts or utilizing tax-advantaged accounts to reduce the estate and inheritance taxes that their beneficiaries may be on the hook for.
One of the primary challenges in estate planning for aging parents is striking the right balance between promoting independence and ensuring their security and well-being. Many parents value their autonomy and may be reluctant to relinquish control over their affairs. However, it's essential to address their ever-changing needs and vulnerabilities sensitively.
The key to finding this balance lies in open and honest communication. Encourage conversations with aging parents about their wishes, concerns and goals for the future. Assure them that estate planning is not about taking away their independence, but rather, empowering them to maintain control over their legacy and ensure their wishes are honored.
Set a slower pace for making necessary changes
Estate planning is not a one-time event but a continuous process that can be updated as circumstances change. Start early and slowly introduce the concept of delegating responsibilities and decision-making authority. This could involve gradually transferring control of financial accounts or appointing a health care proxy with increasing levels of involvement as needed.
Provide parents with the necessary information and resources to make informed decisions about their estate. Educate them about different estate planning tools and their implications, empowering them to take an active role in shaping their legacy. Offer support in navigating complex legal and financial matters, whether through independent research or consultation with professionals.
While it's essential to ensure parents' safety and well-being, it's equally important to respect their autonomy and dignity. Involve them in decision-making processes and honor their preferences to the extent possible. Recognize that estate planning is ultimately about fulfilling their wishes and values.
Estate planning for aging parents is a complex process that requires careful consideration of their unique circumstances, preferences and concerns. By striking a balance between independence and security, we can help our parents navigate this stage of life with confidence and peace of mind.
Through open communication, gradual transition, education and respect for autonomy, we can empower them to shape their legacy and ensure their wishes are honored for generations to come. Remember, estate planning is not just about managing assets; it's about preserving relationships and values that endure beyond a lifetime.
Related Content
Get Kiplinger Today newsletter — free
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

Justin B. Stivers was born in Florida but raised in Knoxville, Tenn. He pursued his undergraduate education at Appalachian State University in Boone, N.C. After graduating, Justin served three years in the United States Peace Corps, living in a rural coffee farming community in Honduras. This experience not only enriched his life but also helped him become fluent in Spanish. Upon completing his service in Honduras, Justin attended law school at the University of Miami in Miami, Fla. He lived in Miami for the next 15 years, during which he built a successful estate planning law firm. In this role, Justin helped families plan for their futures, feeling a sense of accomplishment and service.
-
6 Stunning Waterfront Homes for Sale Around the US
From private peninsulas to lakes, bayous and beyond, Kiplinger's "Listed" series brings you another selection of dream homes for sale on the waterfront.
By Charlotte Gorbold Published
-
Six Reasons to Disinherit Someone and How to Do It
Whether you're navigating a second marriage, dealing with an estranged relative or leaving your assets to charity, there are reasons to disinherit someone. Here's how.
By Donna LeValley Published
-
Should You Still Wait Until 70 to Claim Social Security?
Delaying Social Security until age 70 will increase your benefits. But with shortages ahead, and talk of cuts, is there a case for claiming sooner?
By Evan T. Beach, CFP®, AWMA® Published
-
Retirement Planning for Couples: How to Plan to Be So Happy Together
Planning for retirement as a couple is a team sport that takes open communication, thoughtful planning and a solid financial strategy.
By Andrew Rosen, CFP®, CEP Published
-
Market Turmoil: What History Tells Us About Current Volatility
This up-and-down uncertainty is nerve-racking, but a look back at previous downturns shows that the markets are resilient. Here's how to ride out the turmoil.
By Michael Aloi, CFP® Published
-
Could You Retire at 59½? Five Considerations
While some people think they should wait until they're 65 or older to retire, retiring at 59½ could be one of the best decisions for your quality of life.
By Joe F. Schmitz Jr., CFP®, ChFC® Published
-
Home Insurance: How to Cut Costs Without Losing Coverage
Natural disasters are causing home insurance premiums to soar, but don't risk dropping your coverage completely when there are ways to keep costs down.
By Jared Elson, Investment Adviser Published
-
Markets Roller Coaster: Resist the Urge to Make Big Changes
You could do more harm than good if you react emotionally to volatility. Instead, consider tax-loss harvesting, Roth conversions and how to plan for next time.
By Frank J. Legan Published
-
Why Homeowners Insurance Has Gotten So Very Expensive
The home insurance industry is seeing more frequent and bigger claims because of weather, wildfires and other natural disasters.
By Karl Susman, CPCU, LUTCF, CIC, CSFP, CFS, CPIA, AAI-M, PLCS Published
-
Going Through Probate? How to Find the Right Attorney
Just having the skills and experience to do the job isn't enough. The probate attorney you hire needs to have the right temperament for your particular case.
By John R. Silva, Esq. Published