I Wish I May, I Wish I Might: Estate Planning’s Gentle Nudge
Contrary to what you might expect, using precatory language such as ‘I wish’ or ‘I hope’ can play an important part in three estate planning objectives.


When it comes to providing what should happen to your property upon your passing, estate planners agree that language in an estate plan should be clear, direct and unambiguous. Using unclear or “wishy-washy” language can lead to confusion, long-standing arguments between beneficiaries and a longer and more expensive probate process — especially if court intervention is needed to help resolve disputes and ascertain your intent.
Therefore, it would seem that using phrases such as “I wish,” “I hope” or “I desire” — known as precatory language — would never ever belong in a will or trust.
But there are actually three important cases where it can be helpful to include non-binding guidance for your loved ones and estate representatives. Read on to learn when precatory language can further certain important estate planning objectives.

Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free E-Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
1. You want to encourage your beneficiaries to work with a financial adviser.
According to a recent FreeWill survey, a meaningful number of people expect to consult a financial adviser upon inheriting as part of the “great wealth transfer,” when Baby Boomers will pass on more than $70 trillion in wealth to younger generations. That’s great news, since working with an adviser can help preserve and protect assets and set beneficiaries up for a positive working relationship with a trusted professional. According to the same study, many would consider working with the current family adviser, especially if they are competent when it comes to estate planning.
If you have a great relationship with your financial adviser and want to encourage your beneficiaries to consider working with them, your last will and testament could be a great vehicle to communicate this message. Consider the following wording:
“I desire that my children consult with our family adviser, Sally Brown, or another competent professional adviser of their choosing, in the management of their inheritance.”
The period of time after the death of a loved one can be incredibly busy and stressful. Putting language in your will that encourages your loved ones to take action and meet with an adviser to help manage their inheritance could be just the reminder they need to go ahead and set an appointment after your death.
2. You want to encourage your co-trustees to collaboratively make decisions, even if decision-making is ultimately not unanimous.
If you have named three or more co-trustees, you may have instructed that they act by majority consent in order to streamline the decision-making process. You can express a desire to see your trustees work through decisions in a constructive and collaborative manner — even if their final decisions are not made by unanimous agreement.
For example, say you name your children as co-trustees in your plan. By giving them each an equal platform to have their voice heard, a child who is ultimately overruled by their siblings is less likely to feel brushed aside in the decision-making. Your gentle recommendation can be essential to preserving the bond between siblings and keeping the co-trustee relationship healthy and productive, despite inevitable disagreements that can arise in the course of settling your affairs.
3. You want to encourage your trustee to consider certain guideposts when making decisions about trust distributions.
A common trust arrangement is to give an independent trustee the authority to make distribution decisions to beneficiaries at their sole discretion. Unlike the once common, albeit limiting, HEMS (health, education, maintenance and support) standard, this design gives the trustee the most flexibility to ensure that the beneficiaries’ needs are met to the extent deemed appropriate.
However, you may have certain factors you’d prefer the trustee consider in exercising their discretion, such as if the beneficiary has ample funds apart from the trust funds or if the particular need at stake is one that would likely have been supported were you still alive. This could be a need related to the purchase of a first residence versus embarking on a risky business venture.
Giving your trustee some guidance (“I encourage my trustee in the exercise of their discretion to consider requests related to educational pursuits”) can help them make decisions, while simultaneously not tying their hands if they ultimately decide a different route is in the beneficiaries’ best interest.
Takeaway
At the end of the day, your estate planning documents should be clear and direct as to where your property should go on your death and who should manage it.
However, when used properly, precatory language can play an important role in communicating essential guidance to your loved ones. This can cement personal and professional relationships, as well as support your nominated estate representatives in performing their important roles.
Get Kiplinger Today newsletter — free
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.
Allison L. Lee is the Attorney-at-Law, Director Trusts & Estate Content for FreeWill, a mission-based public benefit corporation that partners with nonprofits to provide a simple, intuitive and efficient online self-help platform to create wills and other estate planning documents free of cost. Through its work democratizing access to these tools, FreeWill has helped raise billions for charity. Prior to joining FreeWill, Allison spent more than a decade in private practice.
-
Retire in Italy for Culture and Beauty
U.S. citizens retire in Italy for a lifestyle of abundance. If you love history, gastronomy, art and natural beauty, Italy almost always does it better.
By Brian O'Connell Published
-
Markets Are Down: Here's How Your Estate Can Benefit
Your estate can benefit from stock market malaise by using several creative tools. Here's how.
By Donna Fuscaldo Published
-
Facing a Layoff? Ask Your Employer These Questions Now
If you're being laid off or forced into early retirement, don't make any decisions without proper guidance — and that starts by asking some key questions.
By Ben Maxwell, ChFC®, AAMS® Published
-
Have $1M+ Saved? Consider a Financial Planning One-Stop Shop
A 'one-stop shop' team — including a financial planner, estate planning lawyer, CPA and more — could serve all of your tax, estate and retirement planning needs.
By Joe F. Schmitz Jr., CFP®, ChFC® Published
-
Five Ways to Safeguard Your Portfolio in Market Downturns
The stock market is nothing if not volatile these days. When it takes a dip, a well-managed, properly diversified portfolio could help you ride out the storm.
By Joel V. Russo, LUTCF Published
-
This Underused IRA Option Offers Tax Benefits and Income Security
Looking to avoid running out of money in retirement? Consider longevity protection provided by a QLAC as a component of your retirement income plan.
By Jerry Golden, Investment Adviser Representative Published
-
These Four Books Explore How to Leverage Our Outrage Positively
The authors offer some powerful tools to help us find solutions to discord rather than remaining silent or blowing up in anger.
By H. Dennis Beaver, Esq. Published
-
Financial Pitfalls to Avoid in Your 30s, 40s and 50s
As you pass through each decade of working life and build wealth for retirement, watch out for the financial traps that can hinder your progress.
By Julia Pham, CFP®, AIF®, CDFA® Published
-
Five Key Retirement Challenges (and How to Face Them Head On)
Life will inevitably throw challenges at you as you get older. But making a flexible retirement plan — and monitoring it regularly — can help you overcome them.
By Walt West Published
-
Four Action Items for Federal Employees With $2M+ Saved
If you can't stand the chaos, maybe you can walk off into the sunset of retirement. Here are some thoughts on how to figure out if that would work for you.
By Evan T. Beach, CFP®, AWMA® Published