I Wish I May, I Wish I Might: Estate Planning’s Gentle Nudge
Contrary to what you might expect, using precatory language such as ‘I wish’ or ‘I hope’ can play an important part in three estate planning objectives.
When it comes to providing what should happen to your property upon your passing, estate planners agree that language in an estate plan should be clear, direct and unambiguous. Using unclear or “wishy-washy” language can lead to confusion, long-standing arguments between beneficiaries and a longer and more expensive probate process — especially if court intervention is needed to help resolve disputes and ascertain your intent.
Therefore, it would seem that using phrases such as “I wish,” “I hope” or “I desire” — known as precatory language — would never ever belong in a will or trust.
But there are actually three important cases where it can be helpful to include non-binding guidance for your loved ones and estate representatives. Read on to learn when precatory language can further certain important estate planning objectives.
From just $107.88 $24.99 for Kiplinger Personal Finance
Become a smarter, better informed investor. Subscribe from just $107.88 $24.99, plus get up to 4 Special Issues
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more - straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice - straight to your e-mail.
1. You want to encourage your beneficiaries to work with a financial adviser.
According to a recent FreeWill survey, a meaningful number of people expect to consult a financial adviser upon inheriting as part of the “great wealth transfer,” when Baby Boomers will pass on more than $70 trillion in wealth to younger generations. That’s great news, since working with an adviser can help preserve and protect assets and set beneficiaries up for a positive working relationship with a trusted professional. According to the same study, many would consider working with the current family adviser, especially if they are competent when it comes to estate planning.
If you have a great relationship with your financial adviser and want to encourage your beneficiaries to consider working with them, your last will and testament could be a great vehicle to communicate this message. Consider the following wording:
“I desire that my children consult with our family adviser, Sally Brown, or another competent professional adviser of their choosing, in the management of their inheritance.”
The period of time after the death of a loved one can be incredibly busy and stressful. Putting language in your will that encourages your loved ones to take action and meet with an adviser to help manage their inheritance could be just the reminder they need to go ahead and set an appointment after your death.
2. You want to encourage your co-trustees to collaboratively make decisions, even if decision-making is ultimately not unanimous.
If you have named three or more co-trustees, you may have instructed that they act by majority consent in order to streamline the decision-making process. You can express a desire to see your trustees work through decisions in a constructive and collaborative manner — even if their final decisions are not made by unanimous agreement.
For example, say you name your children as co-trustees in your plan. By giving them each an equal platform to have their voice heard, a child who is ultimately overruled by their siblings is less likely to feel brushed aside in the decision-making. Your gentle recommendation can be essential to preserving the bond between siblings and keeping the co-trustee relationship healthy and productive, despite inevitable disagreements that can arise in the course of settling your affairs.
3. You want to encourage your trustee to consider certain guideposts when making decisions about trust distributions.
A common trust arrangement is to give an independent trustee the authority to make distribution decisions to beneficiaries at their sole discretion. Unlike the once common, albeit limiting, HEMS (health, education, maintenance and support) standard, this design gives the trustee the most flexibility to ensure that the beneficiaries’ needs are met to the extent deemed appropriate.
However, you may have certain factors you’d prefer the trustee consider in exercising their discretion, such as if the beneficiary has ample funds apart from the trust funds or if the particular need at stake is one that would likely have been supported were you still alive. This could be a need related to the purchase of a first residence versus embarking on a risky business venture.
Giving your trustee some guidance (“I encourage my trustee in the exercise of their discretion to consider requests related to educational pursuits”) can help them make decisions, while simultaneously not tying their hands if they ultimately decide a different route is in the beneficiaries’ best interest.
Takeaway
At the end of the day, your estate planning documents should be clear and direct as to where your property should go on your death and who should manage it.
However, when used properly, precatory language can play an important role in communicating essential guidance to your loved ones. This can cement personal and professional relationships, as well as support your nominated estate representatives in performing their important roles.
Profit and prosper with the best of Kiplinger's advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and much more. Delivered daily. Enter your email in the box and click Sign Me Up.

Allison L. Lee is the Attorney-at-Law, Director Trusts & Estate Content for FreeWill, a mission-based public benefit corporation that partners with nonprofits to provide a simple, intuitive and efficient online self-help platform to create wills and other estate planning documents free of cost. Through its work democratizing access to these tools, FreeWill has helped raise billions for charity. Prior to joining FreeWill, Allison spent more than a decade in private practice.
-
Gold and Silver Shine as Stocks Chop: Stock Market TodayStocks struggled in Friday's low-volume session, but the losses weren't enough to put the Santa Claus Rally at risk.
-
Don't Wait Until January: Your Year-End Health Checklist to Kickstart 2026Skip the fleeting resolutions and start the new year with a proactive plan to optimize your longevity, cognitive health, and social vitality.
-
Premium Rewards Cards: More Perks, Higher FeesSome issuers are hiking the annual fee on their flagship luxury credit cards by hundreds of dollars. Are they still worth using?
-
How to Master the Retirement Income Trinity: Cash Flow, Longevity Risk and Tax EfficiencyRetirement income planning is essential for your peace of mind — it can help you maintain your lifestyle and ease your worries that you'll run out of money.
-
I'm an Insurance Expert: Sure, There's Always Tomorrow to Report Your Claim, But Procrastination Could Cost YouThe longer you wait to file an insurance claim, the bigger the problem could get — and the more leverage you're giving your insurer to deny it.
-
Could a Cash Balance Plan Be Your Key to a Wealthy Retirement?Cash balance plans have plenty of benefits for small-business owners. For starters, they can supercharge retirement savings and slash taxes. Should you opt in?
-
7 Retirement Planning Trends in 2025: What They Mean for Your Wealth in 2026From government shutdowns to market swings, the past 12 months have been nothing if not eventful. The key trends can help you improve your own financial plan.
-
What Defines Wealth: Soul or Silver? Good King Wenceslas' Enduring Legacy in the SnowThe tale of Good King Wenceslas shows that true wealth is built through generosity, relationships and the courage to act kindly no matter what.
-
An Investing Pro's 5 Moves to Help Ensure 2025's Banner Year in the Markets Continues to Work Hard for You in 2026After a strong 2025 in the stock market, be strategic by rebalancing, re-investing with a clear purpose and keeping a disciplined focus on your long-term goals.
-
Introducing Your CD's Edgier Cousin: The Market-Linked CDTraditional CDs are a safe option for savers, but they don't always beat inflation. Should you try their counterparts, market-linked CDs, for better returns?
-
How to Protect Yourself and Others From a Troubled Adult Child: A Lesson from Real LifeThis case of a violent adult son whose parents are in denial is an example of the extreme risks some parents face if they neglect essential safety precautions.