Five Reasons Not to Give Your Child Power of Attorney

A dad and his adult son stand next to each other and look at the son's smartphone.

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Appointing someone to act on your behalf under a power of attorney (POA) is one of the most important decisions you'll make in your estate planning process. The POA grants significant authority over your finances, health care or both, so choosing wisely ensures that your wishes will be respected and carried out effectively. Here’s a deeper look into what you should consider before you grant POA to your child.

Key qualities to look for in a POA:

Trustworthiness. The person named in your POA, commonly referred to as your "agent" or "attorney-in-fact," will have legal authority to act on your behalf. It’s therefore vital that they are trustworthy, will prioritize your best interests and will follow your instructions.
Competence and expertise. Ideally, the person you choose should be organized, detail-oriented and capable of managing financial or health care decisions. Someone with experience in these areas — such as a professional fiduciary or financially savvy relative — can be a good choice.
Emotional stability. Your agent must remain calm and logical in high-pressure or emotional situations, such as handling end-of-life decisions or managing your assets during a medical crisis.
Proximity. While not mandatory, choosing someone who lives nearby can be helpful, especially for health care decisions or if frequent in-person actions are required (e.g. signing documents, meeting with attorneys).
Willingness and availability. The role of an agent can be time-consuming and stressful. Ensure the person you choose is willing to take on the responsibility and has the time to dedicate to managing your affairs.

Should you choose your child?

Choosing an agent is a critical decision, and while many people consider naming their children, this option may not always be ideal. Here are five good reasons not to name your children in your power of attorney:

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1. Potential for family conflict

If you have multiple children, appointing one child as your agent can lead to disagreements or jealousy among siblings. This may strain family relationships, especially if decisions made by the chosen child are perceived as unfair or self-serving.

2. Lack of financial or legal expertise

Managing someone else's financial or health care decisions can be complex. Your child may lack the necessary knowledge to handle these responsibilities effectively. Errors in judgment, even if unintentional, could have serious consequences for your finances or well-being.

3. Emotional involvement

Children, no matter how well meaning, may struggle to make objective decisions during emotionally charged situations. For example, in end-of-life health care decisions, they might allow their emotions to override your stated wishes or act out of guilt rather than logic.

4. Conflicting priorities

Your child may already have significant personal or professional obligations, such as managing their own family or career. Adding the responsibilities of a POA could overwhelm them, leading to delays or mistakes in managing your affairs.

5. Risk of misuse or abuse of authority

Although rare, there is always a risk that a child with POA might misuse the authority, whether intentionally or unintentionally. This could include mismanaging funds, making decisions that benefit them financially or ignoring your stated wishes. Choosing an impartial third party can mitigate this risk.

Alternative solutions to naming your adult child as POA

If you decide not to appoint your child, consider naming:

A trusted, objective relative with relevant expertise
A close friend or adviser who understands your wishes
A professional fiduciary, attorney or institution experienced in managing POA duties

This approach ensures decisions are made objectively, professionally and in line with your best interests.

When to consider a professional agent

If you’re concerned about conflicts of interest, emotional decision-making or lack of expertise, a professional agent might be a better option. Examples include:

Attorneys
Certified public accountants (CPAs)
Licensed fiduciaries or trust companies

These professionals are experienced, impartial and legally bound to act in your best interests.

Legal and practical steps to take

Define your wishes clearly. Draft a comprehensive POA document that spells out your preferences, powers granted and any limitations.
Consult an attorney. Work with an estate planning attorney to ensure your POA document is legally valid and tailored to your specific needs and state laws.
Communicate with your chosen agent. Have an open discussion with the person you’re considering to ensure they’re comfortable with their power of attorney duties and fully understand your wishes.
Review and update regularly. Life circumstances change. Revisit your POA decisions every few years to ensure your chosen representative is still the best fit.

Risks of not having a POA

If you do not designate a representative in a POA, decisions about your finances and health care could fall to a court-appointed guardian or conservator. This process can be lengthy and costly and may result in someone you wouldn’t have chosen managing your affairs.

Final thoughts

Is your retirement savings plan on track? Is your education funding strategy for the next generation in place? Are you prepared with a tax-efficient plan for transferring wealth and minimizing estate taxes? The Peak Wealth Planning team can assist.

Peak Wealth Planning, LLC provides estate guidance in the context of financial planning. However, your estate attorney and CPA should be the final authority on your estate documents and tax matters.

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Disclaimer

This article was written by and presents the views of our contributing adviser, not the Kiplinger editorial staff. You can check adviser records with the SEC or with FINRA.

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Peter Newman founded Peak Wealth Planning, LLC in 2014 to provide financial planning and investment management for individuals who built their wealth through ESOP participation, business ownership or real estate investing. He helps families diversify their concentrated stock, reduce estate taxes, preserve wealth and generate stable retirement income. Peter holds the Chartered Financial Analyst designation, considered by many to be the gold standard for investment management.